The Garden

Tonight at my church’s Wednesday evening service, we began a series to prepare our hearts during this time before Easter by looking at the Stations of the Cross.  The first station was “The Garden” and we looked at the passage in Matthew Chapter 26 where Jesus prayed in anguish for strength to follow God’s will which Jesus knew involved the great distress of the cross.

When we read the passage a couple of things stood out to me.  The first revelation that I had was that Jesus was a great servant leader and He had shown Himself to be powerful and trustworthy to His followers, yet in His crucial hour where He specifically asked them to do something to support Him, vulnerably expressing to them His feelings of being overwhelmed and filled with sorrow, they could not follow Him and pray as He specifically requested.  The request came from the vocal chords of the Son of God and rested upon their human ears.  There was no confusion regarding His will, yet He was ignored.

As a frustrated leader, I was encouraged to know that Jesus, the greatest spiritual model and leader of all time, was ignored by His followers.  They failed to provide support to Him in His hour of need and yet Jesus rose and followed the will of God, relying upon the strength He received from God.  Jesus fully submitted Himself with abandon to do the will of God despite His circumstances and disappointments.  Not only did Jesus not receive the prayer support from His followers, but after praying, He had to face His betrayer and endure Judas’ kiss. 

My second thought was in regarding to the failure of the disciples to discern the grievousness of the time.  They missed the importance of the hour and in their human weakness fell asleep…not once, but twice.  They missed the opportunity to pray for strength for the Savior of their souls and to receive strength in the time of their greatest temptation.  They missed the opportunity to encourage Jesus in the time of His great sorrow….that is a great loss.

I am amazed at the love and graciousness of Jesus that He would return to this ragtag group of followers after His resurrection.  I would be looking for a new group.  The more I follow Christ, the more aware I am that I fall short of His glory in the way I love others.  I pray that I would be more discerning when it comes to being aware of the times and sacred opportunities and that I would be more gracious to the shortcomings of other followers.

 

Genetic Modification

 

Today is the first day of Lent, a sacred time of drawing close to God, reflecting on Christ’s suffering, sacrifice and death on the cross and culminating with a celebration of Christ’s resurrection.  Many people will be giving up indulgences as an act of self-denial attempting to tame the rebel will as part of their sacred journey.   It’s a time where we practice dying and this is good.

In John 12:23-27, Jesus begins to prepare His disciples for what is going to lie ahead.  He tells them that it is time for Him to be glorified.  He describes the glorification process as one that is like a kernel of wheat that has to die in order to produce a great yield.  Despite the severity of the situation, Jesus knows that death is essential for glorification.

We don’t like to think about death, it is not a rapturous topic of conversation, but as Christians, unless we think about death, not just in the physical sense, but in the spiritual sense, as well; we cannot produce fruit.  Jesus teaches that unless a kernel of wheat falls in the ground “and dies”; it remains only a single seed.  We would rather be more like a genetically modified kernel of wheat that is taken into a laboratory and pampered to produce a higher yield than to fall into the darkness of the ground and have to die.  The laboratory does indeed produce great quantity, but death produces something organic—something real, not artificial.

When I live my life with little regard to myself…hating my life, so to speak, valuing eternal/heavenly interests above those of my own little world and place little importance on the things the world values, then I have begun the art of dying.  I have begun the act of following Christ who chose death despite his troubled heart.

There will be times when doing the right thing, the thing that requires my own personal sacrifice, may be troubling; but in these times, I am identifying with Christ.  I am taking up my cross and following  after Him and in all this dying, there is the hope of glorification.  We bring glory to God—you can’t manufacture that in the safety of a laboratory.

Lord, when our hearts are troubled, when we struggle to "hate" our lives and cling to the things the world loves....comfort and safety, remind us that You also were troubled and bringing glory to God by dying to ourselves is of great eternal value.

 

 

Resistance

Yesterday I was in a conversation and sensed that there were words of wisdom concerning a certain fear that if I could impart truths that I had learned from personal experience as I had I grappled with my own bondage to this type of fear and had struggled to reach a place of freedom from it clutches, I would be able to help this person find release; but I knew in my heart that if I shared, I would be met with resistance, so I refrained from sharing. 

Today I began reading in my Lenten book that I picked up yesterday at church.  I read the first devotion--my Ash Wednesday meditation.  I know that it is not yet Ash Wednesday, even though I am Pentecostal, I know that Ash Wednesday is on Wednesday—not Monday, but I am snowed in and hungry for a good meditation. The Lenten book is by Henri J.M. Nouwen, and is entitled, God’s Abiding Love.  The first line said, “In prayer we seek God’s voice and allow God’s word to penetrate our fear and resistance so that we can begin to hear what God wants us to know”. 

You see when we fail to deal with our fears and resist what God wants us to see and learn from the truth that He is revealing to us, we will be unable to hear what He wants us to know.  God will not share truth with us when He knows we are going to resist it.  He does not throw His pearls before us if it will only cause us to choke.  I am hungry for the pearls of truth and fresh revelations that God wants to share with me, so my intimacy with Him will be greater, so I am motivated to deal with my fears and stubborn resistance in order to partake in deeper fellowship with Him. 

If I can understand that by His grace and love, I can look into the scary mirror of my soul and see that my imperfections are covered by the blood of Jesus, then acknowledging my flaws doesn’t have to create insecurity, even when I am confronted with them in a way that makes me uncomfortable and I can begin to grow in faith.  His “grace my fears relieve”.   

I don’t want God to withhold special revelations of Himself to me because He will be met with resistance—Lord, humble me, help me submit to You as my loving and gracious Lord, fully trusting in You to order the affairs of my life.  May I love You more than anything and trust You with everything.

 

 

 

Goals!!!!, Goals ?!?!, Goals ????

A couple of years ago, I was asked to talk about “Goal Setting” for a January women’s brunch, but, I shied away from accepting the speaking engagement because I have never really embraced the idea of setting  resolutions for the new year.  If I set a resolution and accomplish said resolution or goal, I feel pretty cocky about my achievement and proud of my ability to exert self discipline; but if I set the resolution and fail to follow through, I feel defeated.  The practice has, in my personal life, either led to pride or defeat; so therefore, I have just refrained from participation in the yearly tradition.

But suppose I made sure that the motivation behind the goals that I set are of benefit to the kingdom not just my own personal growth and development.  Suppose I made resolutions for change that were in line with God’s plan for transformation into the image of Christ.  Philippians 3:13 & 14 says that we are to forget what is behind and press toward the goal, the goal is not an earthly goal, it is a heavenly goal.  If my goals and resolutions were set on heavenly purposes, I would not be so inclined to teeter totter between arrogance and shame.  When my goals take on a different perspective, when they are in line with God’s providence, I can be sure that as I pray and ask for divine help to attain my goals, God will come to my aid since the requests are focused on His kingdom not my own personal glorification; and His kingdom going forth is certainly in line with His plan.

I don’t think God is much interested in helping me reach a goal that is going to draw me away from humility or cause me to become self-sufficient, but He is more than happy to help me with my areas of fear and insecurity and to build in me an increased level of faith.  He is also more than willing to assist me as I endeavor to think of others more than myself and to help me learn to deny myself and live more kindly and compassionately.  I guess that if my value system is sound, goal setting can be a really good thing.  If the focus of my resolutions is eternal rather than earthly, I can certainly count on some divine intervention to help me attain them and then the glory will not be centered on me.

 

Another benefit I see in setting goals/resolutions is that it makes us uncomfortable.  We have to give up something for the promise of something greater.  We give up eating special treats we love for the hope of reducing our dress size…we exercise and sweat, we become uncomfortable for the hope of becoming stronger and having more energy.  We stop spending money for the hope of paying off debt and having financial security or having the money for a trip to Hawaii.  This is really close to the kingdom rule…sacrifice comfort here for the sake of an eternal reward.  Denying self is not something that just happens to us, it is a decision to be uncomfortable for the sake of a greater cause; so a little practice in self discipline can certainly assist us in our endeavor to not live by the flesh.

 

I grew up as an only child, so I blame my non-competitive nature on the fact that I never had to deal with sibling rivalry.  I was a miracle baby born later in life to my mom and dad and I never had to do anything to impress them or try to win their approval—I was approved maybe a little too approved.  This was wonderful in many ways, but it also caused me to lack that edge to “strive” in areas of academics, sports or music.  I did well academically and made sure that I maintained what my mom expected from me, but I never pushed beyond that level.  I did not do well at sports…you have to have a bit of aggression to be good at sports and I didn’t want to step on anybody’s toes or get in their way.  You have to put manners aside and that didn’t work for me.  I loved music, but hated performing.   I never learned the skill of “pressing”.  Maybe that is why goal setting is a stumbling block for me.

 

At Thanksgiving, my husband (a firstborn child), daughter (a firstborn child) and her husband (a firstborn child) and I were all playing a card game.  My daughter transparently talked about how she hated to lose to her husband to which I commented, “Don’t you ever want to lose to give the other person a win?”  I was met with blank stares from around the table.  I felt like an alien.

 

I have gone through life happy and content without engaging in competition, enjoying seeing others win and celebrating other’s accomplishment of goals, but I don’t want to do that with my Christian life.  I want to run the race for the prize but I have come to realize that to run in this way will involve a little pressing and striving and that will include setting some clearly-defined goals that are fueled with correct motives and Godly values.

 

I recently watched the movie “Iron Will” about a teenage boy running a highly competitive dog race for the prize money to help his mom pay their debts after his father died suddenly.  Will, the teenager boy, had to be assertive in his training and during the race he faced ridicule, opposition from the other competitors, hunger, physical pain, he pushed himself to and past the point of exhaustion, he was forced to face and overcome fears, but he ran for the prize knowing his father would have been proud.

I want to run my Christian race like Will.  I want to run for the heavenly prize the way he ran for the goal, but I guess I need a goal first…..Goals????, Goals ?!?!, Goals!!!! 

God's Favorites

It is that festive time of year to begin the joyful (sigh) process of “hanging the greens”.  This, of course, means that for me to begin the process, I am going to have to face “the closet”.  The closet that houses my pathetic overflow of clothes that won’t fit in the closet in my own bedroom, but now also consume the closet that was my daughter’s before she married.  The closet that convicts me that I might have a problem with hoarding.  The closet that dashes any pride I have in being an organized person.  The sad thing is that “the closet” is not the only place that I have to rummage through to get to my Christmas decorations—there is also the basement and garage.  Even the Christmas music doesn’t set me in the mood for this task.

Facing “the closet” is not the only reason that I stall from the whole decorating thing.  There is the emotional effort it takes to reconcile Christmas, the American way, with the simplicity of God’s design in Christ’s birth.  How does my celebration of the birth of God’s son fit into His design?

He chose a manger and entrusted the care of His son to a poor couple who could not even afford a lamb, but had to bring a pair of doves or two young pigeons as their offering when they brought Jesus to be consecrated, a symbol of their poverty (Luke 2:24).  The Lamb of God did not have a lamb to present at his dedication.  I can only imagine that this particular act of presenting Jesus to the Lord was probably a milestone for the baby book at that time and even God’s own son did not have parents with status to provide a lamb at His consecration.

God chose such simple and humble beginnings for the early childhood years of His son and an even more humble lifestyle of homelessness for Jesus’ adult years.  He chose to weave His DNA in such a way that Jesus did not have physical attractiveness (Isaiah 53:2) and allowed Him to live a life of oppression, sorrow and suffering during His time in our world and Jesus willingly surrendered to His father’s plan.

There is so much about God’s character and His will revealed in the Christmas story.  The Word truly becomes flesh and displays to us His ways and this commands us to worship.  We must consider how the Christmas traditions imposed on us by society hold the potential to hinder worship and seek to weave worship into every part of our celebration.

So…as I hang my greens, I will hang them in such a way to create an environment of worship, not just satisfaction with my decorating abilities.  When I shop, I will consider what is reasonable and question whether my spending reflects worship and would please God and Dave Ramsey.   I will also worship by considering how I can use my resources to bless the poor which seem to be God’s favorites.

Marketing Strategies

I recently read a passage of scripture that I had read and heard quoted many times presented in a rather fearful manner, perhaps this was just coming from my own neurotic frame of reference, but this time the passage illuminated with fresh revelation that fed my soul a juicy morsel of sustenance. 

The passage is in 1 Corinthians 4:5 where Paul is addressing the idea of apostleship and confronting the Corinthians on following different leaders instead of Christ.  Paul says, ”Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time, wait till the Lord comes.  He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of men’s heart”.  This has always made me kind of tremble in my boots, but there is more to this passage that somehow I failed to understand.  It continues to say that “At that time each will receive his PRAISE from God”. 

The idea behind this is that what we do in the secret to further the kingdom of God, those unnoticed acts of ministry that we don’t post on facebook and receive kudos for from our fellow peer Christians will receive praise from God.  Our true motives and our inner lives will be exposed and the result will be praise from God when the driving force behind our acts is obedience to God and not self affirmation.

This reminded me of one of my favorite passages of scripture that Jesus taught to His disciples when He presented the Lord’s Prayer in Matthew Chapter 6 where Jesus begins by warning against doing acts to be noticed by men.  He proceeds to proclaim three times in the chapter that what you do in secret will be seen by the Father and He will reward you.   The chapter exhorts us to consider that when our deeds are done for others to see, the praise from them will be our reward, but when our deeds are done as a secret with our Holy Father God, our reward will come from Him.

I’m trying to figure out how Jesus’ marketing strategy works into our 2011 technological world where every good deed is advertised.   I am sure there are times when advertising is necessary to further the kingdom of God, but I do think it can be a terrible pitfall for the feeding of our already over-indulged human nature and the stroking of our egos.   We can easily use the world’s technique and put a spiritual twist to it, but the result is still a worldly result…vanity.

Paul is writing to the Corinthians addressing the problem of boasting in the church and the kind of chaos that has been stirred up as a result....boasting in their wisdom and spiritual gifts, boasting in the certain leaders they are following.  Paul suggests that if we are going to boast to boast in our weakness.  I don’t see many fathers writing about their sons walking the “green mile” on facebook…that’s just not good marketing.

For Mature Women Only!!

Seriously—you might get mad when you read this—I am sorry.

I recently came across a current picture of a woman whom I have been an acquaintance for a number of years on facebook.  I was surprised to see her wearing a provocative dress and upon closer inspection realized there was evidence of some cosmetic surgery that the dress enhanced.  I knew the woman had struggled with body image issues for years and the picture was evidence to me that this was still a prevalent issue in her life.  I know that some of you are mentally accusing me of judging right now, but I want to challenge you to consider the evidence.   This is a woman who is a Christian leader not a woman in the world and I must confess that I was hugely disappointed.

I have worked with jr. high girls for a number of years discussing issues of modesty appropriate for women who are followers of Christ and discussing the problem with trying to use our body to draw attention to ourselves and wear things that send inappropriate messages only to find a Godly woman leader wearing something that broke all the rules that my jr. high girls had established for themselves.  I have to ask the question—is this spiritually mature for a leader?

I am not trying to be a prude, but what do you do what Peter writes to women in 1 Peter chapter 3?  “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes.  Instead it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.  For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful.  They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master.  You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear”.

Are we not giving way to fear when we dress in the way the world does to try to affirm physical beauty in ways that are feeding our own selfish/fleshly desires to be attractive?   Is God glorified-- is it of great worth in God’s sight when we feed our fleshly desires and pursue vanity?

Every woman fights the battle to pursue beauty.  I recently watched a video that said that Americans spend 18 billion dollars annually on make-up when 10 billion dollars would bring clean water to the world.  I have to ask—is the pursuit of beauty a little out of balance?  I have read of people getting tattoos to try to bridge a gap between themselves and unbelievers, but have never heard of women giving up make-up to identify with women who are not up on the latest fashion trends.  I have never heard of women giving up shopping and wearing trendy clothes to identify with lower classes.  Maybe we just do what we really want to do and use it as an excuse to do something spiritual. 

Come on—let’s be real.  None of us want to be ugly, but are we willing to be average in order to truly identify with where most of the world is at?  Perhaps we should consider finding a place of acceptance and grieving that we cannot identify with those of the world who pursue beauty in an ungodly way and that will cost us something that we really like. 

I like to “dress up” and look nice, but I also like to “dress down” and go without makeup. I have found that on days that I run around looking average, I find people much more engaging when I am in my unimpressive mode.   Perhaps that is why Jesus was not so very attractive.  Isaiah 53:2 tells us that “He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire Him”.  God didn’t give Jesus a Miss America gene array—He designed Him in a way that He would not be intimidating.  Perhaps we as Godly women should model God’s pattern.

Am I dressing and using my physical appearance for myself and fulfilling the desires of my flesh to bring significance to myself or does my appearance and dress honor God?